Fitness blog---How to deal with the "haters"

[Marissa Lily]

Friends and family aren't always very nice and will even try to sabotage you sometimes when you are trying to lose weight or after you have lost it.

Why?
Even though they say they love you, they can sometimes feel jealous. they may not admit that, but that is what it usually boils down to. They can also fear that you will become anorexic, obsessed with weight loss or exercise. They might also fear you will try to criticize them, their lifestyle and their weight. Also, sometimes they just don't understand that exercising and eating healthy is actually not only for weight loss, it is essential for health.

If you say you are going to try to lose weight expect to hear:

Why do you need to lose weight? You are already skinny.
You think YOU are fat?? Thanks, then what am I?
Oh you've been eating so well, come on, share this cake/ice cream etc with me.
You already went to the gym yesterday, why do you have to go again???

If you have lost weight expect to hear:

Oh you look so great, here celebrate with this cake!
Why are you still working out? You look fine to me.
Calm down, why do you still care what you are eating? You look fine to me.
Why are you working out? You are supposed to be on vacation! You are obsessed!
(of course if you do decide to eat a cookie in front of them you will hear this:)
Why are you eating that cookie? What are you doing? What happened to your diet?



Even if you never say anything to anyone, after you lose weight, if you attempt to keep it off, you will be called obsessed by some. Some people will even imagine that you are judging them even if you say nothing at all.

Moral of the story

Even those closest to you can feel threatened by your success. you should know this to be true in other areas of your life as well. You need to ignore them. When they say any comment to you, you don't need to respond. If you feel you need to respond you could say something neutral like "I don't feel like having any cake" or "I am still exercising because I like it." It doesn't really matter whether that is true or not. You can't win this war with them. If they are insecure, they are going to feel threatened by you no matter what you say.

Some of your family will come around later and ask you what you did or are doing, feel free to talk to them about it then.

Even those who love you can be unsupportive-sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. Find someone who is supportive and talk to them. Don't ever talk to anyone that hasn't offered you supportive comments about it. If you have a success you want to share and have no one with whom to share it, tell me about it! I'll celebrate with you.

[Kassie]

All great advice. I too, have heard all of these things from people closest to me. My family members (who don't exercise or eat right) will always drop some kind of comment about how much easier it is for me to lose weight than them and that's why I look thinner than them. I just laugh because they see everyday how hard I work to stay the size I am.

[Marissa Lily]

Actually Raven brought up another point that I forgot to mention. I have been called a skinny b**** by people which is hilarious to me. People don't realize how hard some people who appear skinny now have worked to get there, and work daily to stay there. this goes for whether you lost a lot of weight or have just worked very hard to try to be healthy your whole life.
When I teach classes at the gym I will share my story every couple of months so that the participants can relate more to me. It really makes a big difference in their opinion of you. Insecure people's first reaction is to judge and you just need to know that, a negative opinion is almost to be expected if someone is really unhappy with themselves, they are going to transfer those feelings to anyone who appears to have what they want. I am sure you have seen this in other cases as well such as with wealth, education, having a significant other, etc.

[Raven Foxx]

You know this blog is sooo true. I work with a bunch of unhealthy individuals and during the holidays I heard all of these things and more. What is interesting righ tnow, is the whole office is doing this "biggest loser" contest and I'm watching people get healthy right in front of my eyes. What's more, is after I shared my story/testimony with them they can see that I wasn't always healthy but rather just like they them. And it's a concrete example to go off of.

[miss Charlie Pearl]

I really appreciate that someone is willing to acknowledge that proper diet and exercise should be implemented simply because it is more healthy. My boyfriend and I do what we can to eat healthy and exercise each day and we both are in good health and great shape. I've always been very active and although I can put on weight easily I keep myself busy so it usually isn't a problem. In my day job I am a nail technician and it is a unfortunate fact that many of the women in my industry let their health slip because they sit all day and don't take the time to exercise or eat right... As a result they are unhappy with their appearance. It has always been difficult for me because I feel self conscious about being thin. I am constantly criticized for being too thin or accused of having an eating disorder. I do my best to shrug it off, but I have to say that is what I love about this lifestyle the most... it accepts all shapes and sizes with open arms and that is why I feel comfortable calling this lifestyle home. Thank you for your inspirational words.

[Brenda Starr]

Excellent words of advice... & support!!

[Bad Wolf]

Too true. Family can be the worst sometimes - I grew up in a household obsessed with weightloss, and there was never more sabotage than there. A good support system is vital aromour against the negativity.

[Taffeta Darling]

all good words..
and you are wise in the words that "Even those closest to you can feel threatened by your success."

i sometimes wonder where my closest have gone..