Candy King is trying to kill me!

[Tiger Tiger]

So I've decided to finally start using this blog. I already have my blog on MySpace and my own personal blog on LiveJournal, but I figure this is a good place to update about this side of my life 'n' such.

So first entry has to be about my 2010 diet!

It hasn't started formally yet... I am looking around for a fatclub to join.

I have an odd relationship with my weight. When I was a kid I was a normal size, into my teens I developed early and got me some gorgeous curves. Unfortunately I was too young for them and also was too much of a nerd and not enough of a tartlet to carry them off to my credit (not that I regret this). But it meant that I was image conscious and ended up putting on weight in my late teens.

I shifted the weight for the first time when I was living in Australia, a combination of the hot weather putting me off chocolate and over eating, and being in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. When winter came and my now ex moved back to Canada things got better but I ended up spending way too much time eating out with my now solid and supportive group of friends.

When I moved back to the UK I did my MA and got a job in uni halls of residence where I had meals provided, and as a starving student I couldn't pass this up. I officially became the biggest I had ever been on a diet of three plates of cheap stodge a day. I went up to a UK size 18.

Then I moved, got a job and was working fulltime to pay the rent whilst finishing up my MA... could barely afford my rent so I ended up with no food money. I'd eat one small meal a day which was often leftovers from functions taking place in the office block. Sad but true. I don't recommend starvation, but it sure works! I dropped down to a UK size 12 within 3 months.

I kept the weight off when I moved back to Bristol, working out 5 times a night when my housemate worked late, eating healthy. And then I got sick. I was bed ridden for 3 months and left with post viral fatigue syndrome, which thankfully hasn't recurred for a few months now. I put loads of weight back on almost straight away thanks to relying on takeaways and my other half's cooking ;p
I still haven't been able to get back to the same levels of excersize I used to do, partly because of the illness and partly because since then I have moved house again and job and now have to commute for up to 4 hours on a bad day.

The point is, I saw some pics of me from New Year's eve and thought, no - I need to stop this now. I can't do this on my own, I don't have the environment around me. So I am going to join a dieting group and see how I go. My will power goes in ebbs and flows - I can have small portions and no chocs. Though I have been finding it difficult to avoid sweets :( Since Woolworths closed down in the UK every other shop has started stocking those Candy King stalls that you get in cinemas! Only at a fraction of the cost of what you pay at the cinema... :( I have resisted the last month or so, but I admit I did munch through a load of sweets whilst on jury duty in early December because of the stress... Anyways - Candy King is conspiring to kill me through the medium of sweeties!

I having been learning burlesque and I'm now at a point where I am putting together a few routines. The routines I have so far are fine, but heavily influenced by the clothes I want to wear to cover parts of my body I don't want to totally reveal. That's fine for now, and I have no problems getting out the bits I am comfortable with, but I want to get back down to a 12 or 14 and moreover get back my toning.

We'll see how I get on, but this journey starts here :D