Has anyone ever been told what your wearing is too much?

[Mira]

As a casual thing I LOVE love love love flowers in my hair, not just any flowers either; BIG flowers. They're fun and to me is a casual thing but can also dress up a simple outfit. Well, my aunt who came from another part of the state came to visit and told me what I wear is "too much". It's "too loud" and that I should take it off. Has anyone else dealt with those people who just don't..... understand and say what you wear is too much and you should take it off or change to be "normal"? What's everyone else's thoughts on it, like how do you handle those kinds of people?

[Roxie Roulette {★}]

Never let anyone else tell you to be something you're not! Life is far too short to be someone else!

[Rebel Hair Wear]

It happens all the time! I have a tia (aunt) who once told me I dressed weird and it seems like I purposely tried NOT to fit in with "what's in". I said "thanks tia, that what I'm going for. I don't WANT to be like everyone else, so that's just what I'm going for." And I gave her a big smile. They don't understand, they won't, if you like it, you like it and tell them that's why you do it. If they say things like "take it off" simply ignore them or tell them "thank you for the advice, but I like to wear this". Good luck!

[Stella Stark]

Yep.... I love colour and prints, as well as well cut clothes that go together well. So some days, just for the sake of the fit and style of different items working well together (and because I love mixing prints), I'll be wearing leopard print, tartan, metallic silver, florals, Pop-Art/Lichtenstein prints, heart prints..... Basically everything. Don't get me wrong, I know how to rock a simple LBD with matching accessories, if a formal situation demands it... It's just I'd rather wear everything together and look like a rainbow! It's a bit of a running joke between friends that I always love crazy statement pieces. I have had the odd "Tone it down, maybe?" comment, but hey. As long as they're not people who have dramatic influence in where you want to be in life (such as prospective employers at an interview, etc), who can tell you that it's wrong? If it's right for you and not dramatically inappropriate for the situation, it's right!

I've also had other (uninformed) people tell me that I shouldn't wear corsets, EVER, because it's bad for your ribs or something. It was a colleague who confessed to never having tried one in her life, because she was scared of what they could do to their body. As I said, mis-informed!! I don't do waist training, and only wear them for photo shoots, burlesque performance and the odd night out, I don't live in them 24/7. She's still terrified of ever trying one, but I'm in no way forcing her to... So why should she have any input in forcing me NOT to? As for how I handle that, I just calmly tried to educate her on the matter, and had a discussion about it.

I did used to have a boyfriend who got embarrassed at being seen out with me, and made fun of me when I bought another "silly/stupid" dress.... How I handled that? I dumped his ass ;)

Also, if you're into big hair flowers, check out https://www.facebook.com/groups/114278942056336/?fref=ts , the piece I have from her is one of my most prized possessions. Mine features a black rose with red edging, huge glossy green leaves, a pink/red hummingbird on the rose, and shiny cherries hanging from the front. Glorious!

[Big Daddy Cool]

I'm a guy, and I like to dress to the nines - bold ties, two tone wingtips, etc. In public people love it. In the office, I'm often told it is too much.

 

[BonBurner15]

Great Q & A post, Mira. 

I have never actually been told that what I wear is too much, but I'm sure people are sometimes thinking it.  I do get treated like a sideshow attraction sometimes, (as if I walked out of the opera scene in the Fifth Element or something), which causes me to roll my eyes on the days were an enlightened attitude has eluded me... But for the most of it, I just remember that I am marching to the beat of my own drum. I've always had a voice of my own...which I imagine is your case too...In fact, it's probably most of all of our cases on here!  :)

I believe that some people are just triggered by something that they consider to be "out of the box", simply because they are suffocating inside of their own box, you know? They feel trapped subconsciously, and when they see someone who is free of conventional restrictions and binding - they become envious and/or depressed enough to try to tear that person down. In my opinion, it's important to stay as compassionate as you can...even towards the folks that very bluntly try to pull your legs out from under you.

Next time your aunt, or anyone else, brings up your sense of style to you in this manner - tell them that it's their opinion, and they are indeed entitled to it, but you do not agree. Then let it bounce off of you. Imagine yourself as a solid white wall that repels all negative vibes.  

Hope that helps! Have a great day!

Bonburner

[SuSu]

I love to wear bandana's in my hair like Rosie the Rivetor.  I get looks all the time.  I was told today I look like Aunt Jamima.  I hate narrow minded people.

[Miss Honey]

I worked in the advertising department of a large company and my sister happened to be the HR Manager for the same company. She not only told me what I wore to work, or in general, was too much (especially my hair flowers), but went so far as to use me as an example when creating company policies! The wonderful thing about it was that her boss loved my look and said it was perfect for my job. You're always going to have someone who doesn't like how you look for one reason or another. But for me, literally thousands of people like my look and it actually brings me closer to strangers by putting a smile on their faces where they've actually commented about opening a door for me and such because I had a flower in my hair. And children have said I look like a princess! So why on earth would I change because one person thinks it's too much? Even if that one person is my sister... Who, btw, bought me small hair flowers for Christmas hoping I'd wear those instead. lol Silly girl... I just added them onto my large ones! I love what Roxy Tart said. Right on, sister! ;-)

[PinkPurr.com]

Family is worst to deal with sometimes... but all in all, consider the people that give you negative feedback JEALOUS. 10/10 says negative comments aimed at you are nothing but. If it makes you upset (which clearly it does or you wouldn't be writing about it here), take your negative energy and harvest it to make positive energy. Stand up straight. Breath. Shoulders back. Show your confidence and either walk away or show how much better a person you are by throwing an unexpected compliment their way in return. You'd be surprised at what wimps insecure people are. Then walk away. You might enjoy looking at their look of surprise when you do this. It's priceless and you will get the point across by making them feel like sh*** for saying anything to you in the first place. I call this method "killing with kindness". It works.

[Rebel Hair Wear]

Also, I forgot to mention, if you are looking for big hair accessories I have a hsir accessory line called Rebel Hair Wear. I make big flowers and big bows and sometimes I get people who look at my bows and say they are too big, in my mind I want to slap them, but I just tell them "yup, they're not for pansies, these babies will make a statement"

Feel free to check ou my page on facebook http://facebook.com/rEBel.hair.wear

We support people who aren't afraid to be different and like to stand out! ;)

[Amanda Kay Baby Cakes]

I say you only live once and do what you love to do!

To that response, I would say "well i  think you are too boring but i'm usually a classy lady and don't blurt out rude things to people."

[Stella Pearl]

Well I suppose the first obvious answer would be to remind her "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." But what I usually explain to people is that this is how I feel comfortable and confident. Just like they may feel weird or like they're in costume if they were to wear my pin up clothes, that's how I feel trying to dress "normal." Like it just doesn't feel right, as if I'm trying to hard.

[Aoife 24K]

First of all, Mira this is a great topic. I am so glad that you posted it. I have kind of a unique perspective on this topic. I am transgendered. And I want to attract attention. But I want to attract attention for looking great, looking as glamorous as possible. I don't want to look like I am a contestant on RuPaul's show. I want to look like I stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine from the Forties, Fifties or Sixties. I hope that people will say "That woman looks great". I hope not to hear "Is that a guy over there wearing that dress?" Anyway I think the most important thing about pinup is that we are proud of our femininity and we are proud that we can look our best. Keep wearing flowers in you hair!