BEST SONG EVER!!! Seriously. (Even better than “Jesus is my Friend”, which was tough to beat)

[Jimmy Buttcheeks]

Okay.
For those of you who know me, you know that my life has pretty much been centered around music for the last 20 years. Because nothing has ever come of my musical intentions, it has left me a lot of "free time" to analyze the writing styles of others.

Now…. Just because I can't write a song that anyone would want to buy, or that anyone would ever want to hear on the radio in mass rotation doesn't mean that I don't know what a good song sounds like. It's not that I can't do it; it's just that there are a lot of stroke magazines on the liquor store magazine rack… and just when I think I've looked through them all, the next month rolls around and I have to start all over again.
But (thanks to my little friend A.D.D.), I have this amazing ability to do many things at the same time. One of my favorites is listening to music while looking at pictures of naked ladies… and this time, it has paid off in spades!!!

The band? The Demonics.
The song? Jesus Chrysler Superstock.
Let me break it down for you…

The music is pretty much awesome. It sounds very Ramons-ish, but with a touch of "clean channel" guitar work thrown in the mix. I haven't asked anyone from the band, but I'm sure this was utilized to lure unsuspecting Rockabilly Goof Balls to the song, thus making it spread like wildfire through the shopping malls across the country via Hot Topic. It's straight forward with a nice hook and really gets your toe a tappin'.

The lyrics??? Well all I can say is that I'm pretty sure that Jesus actually helped this band write the song. It has a touch of everything cool in it. I mean everything cool. It is, without a doubt, righteous.

Why, you might ask??? Oh, please… allow me to explain!

Anyone can write a song about racing a car… people have been doing it for years. But to have your song centered on a drag strip and drag racing??? Pretty much perfect, Yo!

So we have a song about racing… but the song can't be about the singer or the guys/girls in the band, that would be to pompous.

So…. We'll make the racing hero out to someone who is super rad, someone that you would expect nothing less than a quarter mile ass kicking from.
Not Big Daddy Don… that would be to easy. Shirley Muldowney??? Might sell to the girls, but they needed this song to relate to everyone.

Jesus.
Yeah… that's right. The real J.C.

Now… Jesus needs a car and only one car will due for Jesus.

Mopar.
(see what I'm saying here??? This song just gets cooler and cooler!!! Like the other side of the pillow and a pocket full of ice cream!)

But not just any Mopar… a 1963 Superstock Mopar. Oh, and f*** the HEMI cars… Jesus wouldn't have that!!! No way, Baby! It's a Wedge… a 4-speed Wedge!!!

Let us recap, shall we???
Rock and Roll played well.
Drag Racing.
Mopars.
4-speed wedges.
JESUS!!!

If that isn't the recipe for the perfect song then Celine Dion can kiss my ass!

So, as to help inform people with ears about awesome songs hiding out in random places, I bring you the lyrics to The Demonics and their super hit, Jesus Chrysler Superstock… I even loaded the song on my page so you can sing along… you can thank me later.

Seriously… add these guys to your friend list. Write them dirty notes until they finally play another show or release some more awesome music.

Steal your Grandma's Dart and take it to the Test-n-Tune at your local Drag Strip.

Make out with your girl friend.

Feed your dog.

Whatever you do… do it with this song playing in the background.


The Demonics
Jesus Chrysler Superstock

Well he can pull the front wheels up with nails in his wrist,
He's my favorite power-shifting, long haired, anarchist…
Walks 'em through the quarter mile with thorns around his head,
Always get a third gear scratch; his sandal's made of lead.
10.7 quarter mile, he's got those Chevys beat,
Never puts it on a trailer, keeps it on the street.
When he isn't saving souls, you'll find him at the strip...
Trading in his automatic for a Pistol Grip.
And when there's no more fuel, and no more killer green,
He'll spark a bowl and turn the water into gasoline…
Cause he's burning them up, all the time, He's never gonna stop!
He's the first to cross the line. Yeah, Jesus Chrysler Superstock!
Resurrected from the dead and eager to avenge,
Crucify the competition with his brand new Wedge.
All you fools and non-believers time has come today,
Realize the power of Chrysler is the only way...
Cause when there's no more fuel, and no more killer green,
He'll spark a bowl and turn the water into gasoline…
Cause he's burning them up, all the time, He's never gonna stop!
Always the first to cross the line. Yeah, Jesus Chrysler Superstock!
Jesus Chrysler Superstock…
Jesus Chrysler Superstock!

[Mrs. Cherry Garcia]

the awesomeness just keeps getting better! i can honestly say this is the first blog by anyone that i've read all the way through and kept total interest without trying to skip ahead..lol. you're great dude!