FEELING

[T'Arah Craig]

I keep feeling like I need this something to keep me going and on New Year's when everyone gave me a resolution they all said, "THE TIME IS NOW". And I think they're right, this past month I have had experiences and things going on that are all drawing me back to that one conclusion, that the time IS now. I'm thinking all these great things and I'm putting together all of these ideas and I feel like they should be going somewhere but the moment I try to go and do something about it I get sidetracked, someone drags me away from it, and I am not successfully pushing through. So here is my decision from today on, and my truthful total decision:

1. To do what I feel will push me in the right direction, whenever I feel like I should do it, right when the mood strikes me.

2. To listen, and I mean actually listen to peoples thoughts, and instead of nodding my head to it, I want to stay loyal to myself, so if I really have this opinion on what someone thinks I will tell them what my opinion is, and accept that they could be right but that I'm alright with their ideas and opinions but I will still stick with mine if I still feel that mine is what I should stick with.



3. To find someone that will listen to me, and actually listen, not give advice on what I should do with my life, because advice is just something you ask for when you already know the answer and are just afraid to admit it. Which brings me to my next decision.



4. I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. I will not be afraid of things that I should not be afraid of, like leaving messages on answering machines, or talking to people I don't know about things that I really want them to know, I will not be afraid to speak my mind to someone, because their opinions are not going to hurt me, they might make me think, but they will not hurt me, I am able to walk away from them, right?



5. I WILL ACCEPT WHEN I AM AFRAID. When I truly fear something, I will say that I am scared, because the longer I deny being scare about it the longer it will take me to overcome the fear. so now I am starting my first fear that I will admit to being afraid of. I am afraid of being wrong, or unknowledgeable, or commented upon, and it hurts me when I am looked at like I'm strange or that I have done something wrong, or I have cracked on a high note or I have said something totally dumb, but I will admit that I have done it and then after that.......



6. I WILL MOVE ON. I will not let things that do not need to drag me down, drag me down. I don't need them to.



7. I WILL FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE. And I will focus on how the positive makes me feel, because the positive is something that drives us forward....



8. I WILL REALIZE THE NEGATIVE. Because no matter how far we run from the negative, it is still there, and the more we shut it from our minds and pretend it isn't there it will grow stronger, that is when we give into it, and I will not let it it overpower me.



9. I WILL LOVE. And show my love, and express that love to people without being afraid to express it, because love comes in many forms.



10. I WILL LOVE MYSELF. Because thats where the root of all of this love comes from, yourself. I need to show more love to myself, and I will do just that.

SO.

I am ready to start again, and I am ready to do it right this time.Let's go