Burlesque Poetry

[Little Miss Risk]

Since my last post, BJB has asked me to refrain from talking about my menstrual cycle. So I'd like to start this blog off by only stating the I'm MC Menses, and my flow be fresh...

...

Okay, I've gotten that out of my system. We played our show last night at the Chubby Pickle in Windsor, ON. Sadly, they did not have any t-shirts for sale so I have no way of commemorating the show. As wonderful a name as The Chubby Pickle is, they are not only not capitalizing on it, but they are changing the name to simply "The Pic" and so another great Canadian landmark falls by the wayside.

However, the opening band, The Vaudevillianaires, were fantastic. I'm so hopelessly and helplessly in love with their show I'm going to write a email to our agent to beg us to share a bill with them in the future. Not only do I enjoy their music but they have a stage show and they made up characters for themselves. There is even a pencil-thing moustache drawn on here and there. That counts for extra points in my book.

It would seem that the love is of two ways. When we got back to the hotel, BJB had gotten an email on his Blackberry (which let the record show that since he got the data package is one step away from having it surgically implanted) from two mysterious characters named Ted and Martha. The message is the following piece of meter and rhyme:

A mother on the road and a trucker named Bates,
Sucking up the show and stealing our fates,
One after another and raising the rates,
Ripping it up and stealing the out the gates,

Vaudeville learned a lesson of The Voodoo Dolls,
Sucking on a flaming crotch, pushing p**** to the wall,
Teaching learned lessons,
Cutting short from the tall,

RAISE THE RATES VOODOO DOLLS AND BIG JOHN BATES,

Dirty Betty cutting up a slip like a pierced lip,
Badass drummer with hands full of big mits,
Upright bass, drives a band no mistake,
Kegging up floor tom, hit a face with a rake,

Skeleton hand bra,
Stink fist to the face,
Dirty Betty think she's ready,
Rip a mit to the face,

Handcuff key to release,
Sweet ass wanna a taste,
Cut a p**** up rough let the drip on my face,

RAISING UP THE RATES VOODOO DOLLS AND BIG JOHN BATES.

THANKS FROM WINDSOR.

I later found out that this Ted may be a distant relation to Phineas T. Faust of the Vaudvillianaires, but we're still waiting for the DNA results from the lab on that one...

Now, there's a lovely harvest moon out there and I feel the need to get out and howl in Hamilton.

Ciao!

Little Miss Risk

[candyass cabaret]

smirk MC Menses da flow be fresh .good one