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"...Gee Baby - Ain't I Good To You?"

It seems that Billie Holiday's song is what it all comes down to.
I tear myself apart to glow the brightest for someone who'll never quite appreciate the effort. Today I managed to maintain a stone-face....until I walked to my baby Ford, Brute, whereupon I was twenty feet from the my dear car before bursting into ridiculous tears.

He didn't speak to me the entire day, nor I to him.

What was I to expect? He told me himself that he was selfish. And here I thought he was different from the rest..that maybe I'd find that one guy whom I could feel belonging with, yet still ramble as free as a coyote through my desert-life.

And then you see him go through the motions, take a walk on break, and who is that beside him? It might as well have been me - but it was not. It was one of his 'many'.

Enough of him. I shall probably return to him later, but for now, I have laundry to do, food to eat, champagne to drink, and my stories to sing and write. I have my life, the one thing that is wholly and preciously all mine.

So let's turn to a different song:

"All or nothing at all
Half love never appealled to me
If your heart never could yield to me
Then I'd rather have nothing at all..."

Inspire me, baby - it's all I've got left:::

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