Friends who don't "get it", how do you respond?

[NolaChick™ {Madam}]

Ok, so I have a question for my fellow models. When you first got into pinup, where there family members or friends who just didn't "get" the whole pinup thing? Let me give you an example. Most of my friends are ultra supportive. But, there are some people who don't see the pictures I do as art. They see them as pictures of me in my underwear and skimpy clothes and nothing more. Guys have even refused to date me after seeing my myspace page! Now, I don't live in a an ultra-conservative area. I live in New Orleans, a place that, I thought was more tolerant of different types of art. I don't let it get to me and I just keep telling myself that I am doing what makes me happy, but I get tired of having to explain myself.

I guess what brought all of this on was tonight I was talking to a guy that I went on a couple of dates with, and he told me that he stopped dating me because one of his coworkers saw the pictures on my myspace page and commented that I looked "slutty". Now, keep in mind in most of my pictures I am wearing more than most girls wear when they are at the beach. He claims he defended me, but who knows?

I was just wondering if anyone else had to deal with this or if it's just me! LOL.

[Lucky Diva]

WOW, no, I never heard this kind of thing before, THANK GOD!!!
I don't know if it's because I live in such a non-conservative area or because most of my friends are used to pin up pictures, but anyway, I think your pictures are not even close to slutty! They are just adorable! So just keep going and try to find yourself a guy who loves them like we all do. ;)

[Amanda]

I'm not a model so I can't really compare with you on that front. But I do have friends that disagree with my love of pin up. Like with you, they think its just slutty pictures of chicks and no where close to artistic and beautiful. I've just learned that you can't please everyone. I'm sorry people think and do that to you. Your pictures are gorgeous and no.. they do not make you look slutty.

[Delyssia LaBelle {Madam}]

Im not sure guys are ready for confident women yet. your nothing near sluty. if you love it, never mind the nay sayers! i love your work.

[Mimi First]

Yeah I've had to deal with this on so many levels and the only thing that has helped me is the realization that if you love something enough then you have to become an advocate for it and accept that others may judge you. It wouldn't matter if what you loved was racing dangerous cars, jumping from planes, public speaking or doing pin ups. The second you start to put yourself out there you're gonna come across critics. The fact that you care that they don't "get it" just tells me you've already got it but good. Yep sister it sounds like you've been bitten by the bug and you're gonna be stuck explaining yourself for some time to come. Just be happy you've found a passion worth all that effort.

But pep talk aside I sympathize when you. When you love something you want to share it and no woman who chooses to be vunerable, show off and rejoice in the reclamation of her own sexuality should ever be called a slut! Hang in there toots!

[Edson Carlos]

Ladies....

Opens up sacred typical man handbook.


flips pages...

Scrolls down a few paragraphs...Ahh yes... Insecurity. Most guys want to be the center of attention and cannot mentally handle their girl getting attention. Their minds wander, they run rampant, and they cant deal with that fact that a guy is admiring the same thing he admires, and the fact that his girl could probably take care of herself just fine.

I'm a rare one and don't fit this mold. Keep looking nola, one who appreciates the complete package will show up out of nowhere. =)

[NolaChick™ {Madam}]

Thanks so much you guys! I love this place! So awesome! =)

[Lili DeVil]

That's a hard one! I think my Dad was the hardest one to win over, he was super protective and worried that I'd get taken advantage of! After a while, he got over it, but he still thinks it's a waste of time! haha I guess I'll have to make it big and prove him wrong!

I've never had an issue with guys or dating, I had been doing it for a while already when me & my man got together, so it was never really an issue. He thinks it's hot and likes to brag to his friends that his Lady is a model!

Most people I know are super supportive and encouraging when they talk about it, but there will always be haters, whether they let you know or not.

Your pictures are beautiful and NOT even the slightest bit "slutty", so I don't think you have anything to worry about!

If it makes you happy, who cares what anyone else has to say!

XOXO

[Jian Bastille]

I've said this to you before, but it's better to find out such a failing at 'date three' than 'month three.'

You don't want someone who's that conservative, photos aside, they wouldn't like anyone who 'would be into' that anyway, which still means you!

[Carly May Carnage]

i'm lucky to have very alternative friends, and a very open-minded family, so i haven't really come up against this personally. but i do know that most "average" people who have no knowledge of the pin-up world immediately think of Bettie Page when pin-up is mentioned, and most people seem to think Bettie was just some slutty porn chick or something.

i think it's terrible you've been treated like this.

[Miss Bea Rock]

I think that's really unfortunate that people could be so close-minded.
A lot of people around here will just see me or see my photos and tell me "Oh, you look like one of those girls from one of those old magazines" or call me Lucy [as in Lucille Ball] but to me, that's an indication that they at least GRASP the sense of tribute to the retro era and the area I live in is CONSIDERABLY far behind New Orleans in terms of subculture!!

Anyone who wants to call you slutty is JEALOUS!!!! Not a lot of girls feel good enough about themselves to put on some fakie lashes, take off their pants, and pose!! I didn't even bother to bring prints to work; so I can give them ammo to talk smack about me??? Please. Anyone who has the gall to come out and question you doing this is people who secretly wish they had the right body or the self confidence to do so. And you know what? They will never reach that point by bringing other people down, because that doesn't make you feel good.

It's just all the little bitter remarks that you have to roll your eyes at and move on.
KEEP your chin up, beautiful!

[Tea Martini]

Darling, it's so sad! moreso for those people who don't grasp the concept of pin-up or rockabilly or any subcultures for that matter. It's a shame that more people anywhere don't have more exposure or knowledge on recreating an era, or even the era being paid homage to. I've gotten several "you reminde me of amy winehouse" comments (which, btw, i look nothing like amy winehouse, i like her music but not a fan of her appearance). And this classic comment my old b/f and i got in highschool: "It's not halloween yet!"

As for people thinking your pictures are" slutty", thats just rude! Maybe they don't understand but why be so harsh? Everyone here in this community gets it, and loves it, and appreciates it! You're beautiful and are a fabulous pin-up!! don't let anyone sway you from what you know! <3

[Edson Carlos]

Dolls this is your haven, as much as it is my heaven. Make yourselves at home and I will do my best to assist the Pinup Madams with keeping the creeps and haters out.