Friends who don't "get it", how do you respond?

[NolaChick™ {Madam}]

Ok, so I have a question for my fellow models. When you first got into pinup, where there family members or friends who just didn't "get" the whole pinup thing? Let me give you an example. Most of my friends are ultra supportive. But, there are some people who don't see the pictures I do as art. They see them as pictures of me in my underwear and skimpy clothes and nothing more. Guys have even refused to date me after seeing my myspace page! Now, I don't live in a an ultra-conservative area. I live in New Orleans, a place that, I thought was more tolerant of different types of art. I don't let it get to me and I just keep telling myself that I am doing what makes me happy, but I get tired of having to explain myself.

I guess what brought all of this on was tonight I was talking to a guy that I went on a couple of dates with, and he told me that he stopped dating me because one of his coworkers saw the pictures on my myspace page and commented that I looked "slutty". Now, keep in mind in most of my pictures I am wearing more than most girls wear when they are at the beach. He claims he defended me, but who knows?

I was just wondering if anyone else had to deal with this or if it's just me! LOL.

[Tura Katana]

My mom was supportive a little. she didn't like the idea of me modeling pin up style because its mature and what not so i go for more the "cotton candy" pin ups I guess you could say. Some of my friends dont get it at all. I showed one of my girlfriends some pin up pics. and she said they women looked like whores, no matter what I said to try and defend the lovely ladies she wouldn't change her view. But i keep at it and love the lifestyle thats why i say screw you to all the haters! As far as guys go, I have a really good guy friend that dosnt really get it either but he dosnt try and change what I'm into, If a guy dosnt date you because your into pin up then hes not the one for you. Your guy should love every little quirk about you!

[NolaChick™ {Madam}]

That's what I think!

Marissa Lily said:

Insecurity. That is it. Those guys are threatened by you.

[Jamie McGrath]

I will say it seems to be a universal problem. People in today's world are programmed to see a half-naked girl as someone that might be doing it to seek attention and label her a 'slut'. The generational standards for women are much different than they were back then. In fact, one girl who I know (very into pin-up) recently started a pin-up pageant at some local car shows. People were so out of it that they heard pin-up and thought 'half-naked bikini girls' and she literally had to dress in pin-up attire to go to one of their organizational meetings and have the contestants submit photos of their outfits so that they knew what they were talking about.

Also, on the guy front, it may seem like a loss now, but just see it as you found out early that it wouldn't work, and don't worry about it. If pin-up is what you love, you'd be miserable giving it up for a relationship that may or may not last. You've find someone who appreciates what you do; he just hasn't come along yet!

[Flax]

A flower like you never looked "slutty", when it only shows its beauty.

[Linda Sue]

To each his own I say, if they don't get what I do or wear, that's their problem. Came into this world alone, will probably leave it in the same way. So to me, if I like it, that's all that really matters! My Grandad used to say, "two rules to live by, 1: don't sweat the small stuff, and 2: it's all small stuff!"

[Lady X]

Oh man, PL be my therapist!!  I'm dealing with the same issue. 

After 10 months of dating a wonderful man who grew up in a VERY anti mainstream environment (and who met me by coming to two very different shows back to back in one night) he tells me that Burlesque is the reason we are going to break up, he would prefer if I stopped dancing and all photographers are perverts.

My head says dump him, but then he backs off, says we'll work through it.  I've always been an advocate for "owning my sexuality" and expressing myself no matter what people think of me, so I just keep doing my thing!

The worst part is that he says he would whole-heartedly approve if I was in a show like Zumanity in Vegas, but he find the small, no cover variety show that I have been running and producing for three years in San Francisco degrading.
 

I haven't figured out how to deal with this yet :(

[Addison Duggan]

It's not quite the same but as a photographer you are viewed as a perv for taking these type of images which is total b*******!

There are naked bodies on display in our newspapers yet I am a wrong for taking images of women in underwear?

Go figure

You keep up your work, you look gorgeous BTW :)

[Vivi Ennui]

Yes. Yes. and Yes. 

I also perform burlesque... and some people think I'm "just a stripper" and can take certain liberties with me/my body.

The thing is... those people who are being that way to you... those are the WRONG people. 
Your life and your choices are yours.  And, they are a bit of a test for everyone else.  The people who accept you... love you... and are okay with you... are the ones you should stick to like glue. 
The ones who try to shame you... or dump you... or call you "slutty"... are NOT worth your time (or even saying anything to... because that just gives them attention they don't deserve). 

You will find someone who loves you for you... and who isn't jealous or weird about your art. 
Don't settle for anything less. 
And, don't feel bad about all of the MR.WRONGS out there. 

The fact that he even MENTIONED that his coworker said you look slutty... is a red flag on the field to say "Sorry, Charlie... this isn't for me."  Anyone who loves you for you... isn't going to pass on insults from other people. 

You're beautiful... and you deserve to be appreciated and loved for who you are and what you're doing.  <3

[Pete DJPJ]

Sounds like me, I'm in a similar boat.  I djed lots of rockabilly shows that would have burlesque dancers performing in the shows.  After I got married, well I can't go to work or enjoy these shows anymore. As an experienced theater professional I can't even go to work at any burlesque show anymore.  And the strange thing is, I'm conservative and my wife is liberal.  So you help me figure this out!  My wife does not see any difference between burlesque/pinup and strip club girls.  Even the old 1940s cartoonish art work is not approved.  Help!

[Lady X]

Well that sucks, sounds like a manipulative situation

[Miss Carla Lune Harlow]

Hello there!
Well, I have never been called slutty or something like it, but I've know people that don't get it.  A lot of people do not undertand is an art and a lifestyle. When people say that to you, just ignore them because most are afraid to do something different. And being exposed, makes you open to any kind of opinions. Just keep doing the amazing job you have done and like they say "haters gonna hate".

[wildweed]

My old youth pastor found some of my work (i share my work with my mother, highly supportive).. My response was and always will be.. "this is my life, my choice, my passion,.. Do i question your work? I won't be young forever and am blessed to be able to take part in something so empowering and special to me. Don't like it? Don't look.."