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"We Are The New Vintage"
A Day In The Life of a Ricer...
I got up in the morning and put on my pants. I didn't feel like pulling them all the way up so I left them hanging below my ass. I thought this is cool in case I get a girl and need to flop my 2" rod at her quickly.
So I put on my cap, and out I went. I fell down the damn stairs because I tripped on my pants. That's okay I only hit my head and God knows I've done that many times before.
Anyway I got into my phat ride and hooked up my yellow padded seat belt. I had to re-new the layer of duct tape that kept the windshield from leaking because of my failed attempt to make it look like lexan. Other than that my car sounded so cool with the 5" tip I just got at Pep boys. Pep boys is wack, they have a cool section now. I hope I get the store credit card so I can buy a set of blue washer lights and ****!
At a red light I revved at some looser in a piece of **** V8 American car. The guy was cool because he started to laugh. I think it's cool that he can laugh at himself like that. No way he was laughing at me because in total I have like 150 HP because I bought new spark plugs and a exhaust tip. I have stickers of things that I'd like to buy for my car, so people better watch out.
The V8 guy didn't want to race me, but I showed him anyway and floored it. I manually shifted my automatic transmission when the red light from the monster tach lit my whole face. I got him by 15 car lenghts. Come to think of it, I think he turned to another street but the distance he was from me still counts right?
So here I am crusing along the street in first gear, in case I need to race again. My engine sounded so sweet revving at around 5k and my car going 15 MPH. All the ladies looked at me. I was so happy, if I wouldn't have painted my rear drums yellow I would have stopped to talk to them. I wanted my yellow paint on my drums to stay clean you know.
Finally I creep up to another damn American car at a red light. This guy was a joke. He had like these huge ass tires in the rear and it looked like he didn't even cut his springs, so I thought I had an advantage over him. His old car with "Rice Killer" on the rear window had a huge chrome hood ornament in the middle of the hood. It had 3 little holes on it and the whole thing moved left to right. I thought "dang, I wonder if Pep boys has something like that for me to bolt onto the hood too"? Heck I'd put it on the roof.
His car had side exhaust that blew what smelt like un-burnt gas into my passenger window. I would have rolled up the window but it's hard to pretend you have electric windows with the passenger window. I can do it very good with my window. People can't even tell that I don't have electric windows. The open window let all the noises this car made. It sounded like real ****. The car was shaking left and right while the engine sounded like it was going to stall at any moment! I was sure I'd win if we'd race. So I revved and revved until my "V-tech" light came on (I wired the V-tech light to turn on instead of "Check Engine" (much cooler that way).
The guy turned off his engine and got out of his car and ask me if I heard a loud bee? I was WTF bro? You smoking **** dude? I asked him if he wanted to race. The guy agreed and got back into his ugly car and started up the engine.
When the light finally turned green, I got tunnel vision and floored it. All I saw was my monster tach and the road ahead of me. When I got a couple of miles away from where the race started, I pulled back and looked behind me to see how far back the car was?
To my demise the guy was at a general store a little further UP the street. He had enough time to beat me in the race and get a pack of smokes before I could even catch up? I investigated his car once I arrived to the store a couple of minutes later. I was looking for two big bottles of NOS. The guy told me his car was blown. I pretended to understand because I've never heard that before on Fast and the Furious.
Well that was bad luck. Luckily I made him understand that my car has better HP per liter. Again he started to laugh at himself. I’m starting to like the V8 owners since they seem so open minded and capable of laughing about themselves.
I finally made it school and parked with my buddies. They have cool cars with ground effects and fake hood scoops. I told them about my drive to school that morning, which enticed them to watch Fast and the Furious again to see if they mention the term “blown”.
We had a great day at school.
I had my car towed back home because I forgot to turn off my powerful stereo system after lunch. I couldn’t just boost my car because I took off the alternator thing that just sucked up power from my engine. I went to bed and dreamed about how cool the next day would be.
So I put on my cap, and out I went. I fell down the damn stairs because I tripped on my pants. That's okay I only hit my head and God knows I've done that many times before.
Anyway I got into my phat ride and hooked up my yellow padded seat belt. I had to re-new the layer of duct tape that kept the windshield from leaking because of my failed attempt to make it look like lexan. Other than that my car sounded so cool with the 5" tip I just got at Pep boys. Pep boys is wack, they have a cool section now. I hope I get the store credit card so I can buy a set of blue washer lights and ****!
At a red light I revved at some looser in a piece of **** V8 American car. The guy was cool because he started to laugh. I think it's cool that he can laugh at himself like that. No way he was laughing at me because in total I have like 150 HP because I bought new spark plugs and a exhaust tip. I have stickers of things that I'd like to buy for my car, so people better watch out.
The V8 guy didn't want to race me, but I showed him anyway and floored it. I manually shifted my automatic transmission when the red light from the monster tach lit my whole face. I got him by 15 car lenghts. Come to think of it, I think he turned to another street but the distance he was from me still counts right?
So here I am crusing along the street in first gear, in case I need to race again. My engine sounded so sweet revving at around 5k and my car going 15 MPH. All the ladies looked at me. I was so happy, if I wouldn't have painted my rear drums yellow I would have stopped to talk to them. I wanted my yellow paint on my drums to stay clean you know.
Finally I creep up to another damn American car at a red light. This guy was a joke. He had like these huge ass tires in the rear and it looked like he didn't even cut his springs, so I thought I had an advantage over him. His old car with "Rice Killer" on the rear window had a huge chrome hood ornament in the middle of the hood. It had 3 little holes on it and the whole thing moved left to right. I thought "dang, I wonder if Pep boys has something like that for me to bolt onto the hood too"? Heck I'd put it on the roof.
His car had side exhaust that blew what smelt like un-burnt gas into my passenger window. I would have rolled up the window but it's hard to pretend you have electric windows with the passenger window. I can do it very good with my window. People can't even tell that I don't have electric windows. The open window let all the noises this car made. It sounded like real ****. The car was shaking left and right while the engine sounded like it was going to stall at any moment! I was sure I'd win if we'd race. So I revved and revved until my "V-tech" light came on (I wired the V-tech light to turn on instead of "Check Engine" (much cooler that way).
The guy turned off his engine and got out of his car and ask me if I heard a loud bee? I was WTF bro? You smoking **** dude? I asked him if he wanted to race. The guy agreed and got back into his ugly car and started up the engine.
When the light finally turned green, I got tunnel vision and floored it. All I saw was my monster tach and the road ahead of me. When I got a couple of miles away from where the race started, I pulled back and looked behind me to see how far back the car was?
To my demise the guy was at a general store a little further UP the street. He had enough time to beat me in the race and get a pack of smokes before I could even catch up? I investigated his car once I arrived to the store a couple of minutes later. I was looking for two big bottles of NOS. The guy told me his car was blown. I pretended to understand because I've never heard that before on Fast and the Furious.
Well that was bad luck. Luckily I made him understand that my car has better HP per liter. Again he started to laugh at himself. I’m starting to like the V8 owners since they seem so open minded and capable of laughing about themselves.
I finally made it school and parked with my buddies. They have cool cars with ground effects and fake hood scoops. I told them about my drive to school that morning, which enticed them to watch Fast and the Furious again to see if they mention the term “blown”.
We had a great day at school.
I had my car towed back home because I forgot to turn off my powerful stereo system after lunch. I couldn’t just boost my car because I took off the alternator thing that just sucked up power from my engine. I went to bed and dreamed about how cool the next day would be.
Views: 36
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Desirée {PL Team} on
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahahhahahaha
"I have stickers of things that I'd like to buy for my car"
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Permalink Reply by RASH {★} on
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I saw one of those today. The guy had the exhaust wired up with an old clothes hanger that still had the blue fuzzy stuff still on it. I had to laugh.
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Richie they are all over the place EVERYWHERE! I've built some 10 sec Honda's, but the motor alone cost 10k, tranny ran about 8k turbo's ran about 5k then you get an ECM and a FMS at about 10k, that's not counting the body mods and NOS system, and about another 10k worth of stuff. They call ir a poor mans hot rod for the new millennium, but it's one helluva expensive hobbie.
richie/rockabilly richie{PLA} said:AMAZING HOW MANY OF THOSE A******* ARE ON THE STREET. THEY ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE HERE IN NY.
RASH said:I saw one of those today. The guy had the exhaust wired up with an old clothes hanger that still had the blue fuzzy stuff still on it. I had to laugh.
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Permalink Reply by Dolly De Maul on
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LMAO!
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Permalink Reply by Ellie Monster{★} on
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Lmao! This made my morning, I knew guys like that in high school.
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Oh man you just made me feel old.
Back when I was in HS we had V-8 muscle cars, and tuners went into the dash so you could listen to the radio. lol
Ellie Monster said:Lmao! This made my morning, I knew guys like that in high school.
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You know it.
richie/rockabilly richie{PLA} said:man, nothing better than good old American V8's.
RASH said:Oh man you just made me feel old.
Back when I was in HS we had V-8 muscle cars, and tuners went into the dash so you could listen to the radio. lol
Ellie Monster said:Lmao! This made my morning, I knew guys like that in high school.
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ModelPermalink Reply by Bridgette Jean on -
This has got to be the funniest thing I ever read! Seriously!!
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Permalink Reply by Cat Dee Lishe on
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lol this is awesome...lots of dudes like that are everywhere!this made laugh kudos.
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Permalink Reply by Tessa LeTaunt {★} on
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Haha, oh God. I saw a prime example of this same-scenario-douche just yesterday. Guy tried ("tried", being the key term here) to trick out a Ford Festiva. A FESTIVA! With little options as to what he could do for customization, he did the unthinkable and put a spoiler on it. I wish I would have taken a photo, that thing looked so ridiculous perched on the roof of his car.
And, of course, he had a fart cannon to top it off.
edit://
I just Googled and found this photo. This is pretty much what the Festiva I saw had going on...
I give him credit on driving American, but seriously? Seriously?!
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