It was an Oakland cafe, early evening. A young couple strolled in, threw their coats over the backs of two chairs, ordered some coffee, then sat down to talk.

By looks, they were in their early 20s. The man wore a stocking cap over a dark T-shirt. The hatless woman had on a casual top with straps, her long brown hair shoulder length.

They spoke animatedly, though softly, thoroughly enjoying each other's company. They could have been lovers, or merely friends, but something else about them became more noticeable.

Their tattoos.

The man's tattoo ran from his right shoulder down to his wrist. The woman's tattoo started from her left shoulder and ended at the elbow. Sitting across from each other, that right-left symmetry was easily observed.

I dared not stare, so I can't say what their tattoos represented. But I was thinking: Why does such a handsome couple need those foolish adornments?

It's a question I ask too often, because it's rare spotting a young person today who doesn't have a tattoo. I have no scientific evidence, but it seems the majority of our younger generation are sporting tattoos.

And I've seen youth barely past voting age who have tattoos from their necks down to their ankles. Attend any National Basketball Association game, and you'll see what I mean. The Warriors' Monta Ellis, what happened to you?

This tattoo craze confuses me. Why is it necessary to have something inked permanently onto your body when that memory is already established in your mind? Makes no sense.

Do you really need the Lord's Prayer written in cursive around your forearm when nobody, not even you, can read it clearly? What's the point?

Youngsters with tattoos need only to look at old people with tattoos to realize what a dumb mistake they made in having their skin burned with some design.

Because when you get old, the skin wrinkles like a prune, and you'll have no success deciphering your tattoo(s). Even the tattoo's message gets old and loses its significance.

Thus why get a tattoo to begin with? You needn't offer an explanation because I already know the answer: You're a copy cat.

I'm betting the only reason you have a tattoo is because everyone else in today's society seems to have one, two, three, four or more.

If tattoos weren't the popular thing, you wouldn't have any — or, at least, a visible tattoo. Life is infectious when it comes to fads, and tattoos are a fad. Nothing more. Only it's a fad that won't fade away, like the Hula-Hoop. Those blotches of ink are yours forever.

Unless you have them removed, of course, which you may do one day at an exorbitant fee. Then you'll wish you'd never gotten that first tattoo.

In the meantime, do you show off that tattoo on your neck or hands to a potential employer? A coat and tie can't cover everything. On casual Fridays at work, you can't wear a short sleeve shirt with your arms fully tattooed. High-tech companies don't want that walking around.

And what an example for your children to have the tattooed man and woman as their parents. Hey, can't wait to show off the folks to my friends.

Listen, please don't misunderstand, a tattoo doesn't make somebody a bad person. But a physique filled with tattoos does make you look like a freak.

I have no boyhood friends with tattoos. Nobody was going to put ink onto our bodies. The only tattoos my generation saw growing up were on sailors' arms or blanketing the body of circus sideshow characters.

Body art? Who thought that one up?

Tattooing one's body isn't artistic, for nobody's buying that art except its owner, and he may get rid of it down the road.

So why start?

 

Dave Newhouse's columns appear Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays, usually on the Metro page. Know any Good Neighbors? Phone 510-208-6466 or e-mail dnewhouse@bayareanewsgroup.com.