Monster Cock gives girl Concussion

[Lil_Bit {★}]

Now I know the title sounds dirty but, it's a darn good story.

It's 10:30 in the morning and I'm laying in bed with a massive headache. I'm thinking to myself maybe I had to much to drink the night before? Either way I had to get up go to a b-day party I had promised to go to. So we rushed to get ready. Shower, Makeup, Bra...and ran out the door with my family in tow. It's 11:30 and I had to be in Anaheim at 12! OMG I was going to be late. There was no way I was going to drive like this so the MAN drove us to the party. Not realizing I was going to be the navigator I brushed my hair....and fixed my fine mess. Suddenly traffic Arg! So we're inching closer to our exit and it's closed for construction! great take the detour when the phone rings and he's gets upset....Grandma had a heart attack and is in the hospital in Mexico. Great what to do I'm not paying attention. Were doing circles around Knott's berry farm. After a few dramatic moments we get to our location 1 1/2 hour late. I get emotional and let out a few tears.
(FYI she doing fine and is stable condition)
So figuring we can't do anything at that moment to help grandma we decide to stay for the B-day party and try to make the best of it for our daughter. So She's running around the theme park with the kids and B-day boy. My headache is finally going away and my emotions are in control when she spots the animals. She wants to go in and pet the piggy....There's NO way I'm going in a pen with goats, chickens, and pigs! So I sent her dad in with her. She's having a great time petting and feeding the animals. I got closer to the fence to take a picture of her.....When Something slams into the back of my head ( It felt like someone hit me with a football) Knocking my head into the fence! Stunned that someone would hit me with anything I realize something is still on my head! It's darn heavy and flapping! I realized it was a freagin bird and FLIP OUT ! I ran around in circles screaming GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!! flailing my hands in the air! AHHH!!! Im stomping near tears PLEASE get it OFF!! I'm breathing heavy I feel faint coming when the park attendant comes and PULLS the bird off my head.
The dumb ass had the nerve to say
"I guess I should have said heads up"
Uhh yeah! I look around and see that all the kids around me are scared shitless crying....
Then another mom comes up to me and says
"See honey she's OK the rooster only wanted to see the flower in her hair!"
I was thought to myself
"Ohh No it didn't it wanted to PECK my eyes OUT! that's what it wanted to do"
I held back my tears and said yeah...that what the rooster wanted.
I stood there stunned and scared checking myself hysterically and I'm wondering ay I feel a little light headed... I need to sit down I reach for my forehead and realize OMG Im getting a bump and on the back of my head I feel something warm...what is that feeling? Ohh its BLOOD! I didn't need stitches but I needed some ointment...Great!
My dear husband says Uhm you might need to go to a hospital? I Look at him and say
"What I'm I going to tell the ER DR? I got hit on the head By A HUGE COCK?"
he laughs and say well your humor is still working so you might not have a bad concussion.
Keeping whatever dignity I had left I got up and walked around....and laughed it off.
I even yelled at the monster cock aka Rooster!
I'm Going to KFC right NOW and EATING YOUR BRETHREN!

Secretly I was Devastated and forever scared.....If you see this monster cock RUN!

[Honey B Hooligan {Madam}]

that was the best thing EVER. seriously.

[Edson Carlos]

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