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Monster Cock gives girl Concussion
Now I know the title sounds dirty but, it's a darn good story.
It's 10:30 in the morning and I'm laying in bed with a massive headache. I'm thinking to myself maybe I had to much to drink the night before? Either way I had to get up go to a b-day party I had promised to go to. So we rushed to get ready. Shower, Makeup, Bra...and ran out the door with my family in tow. It's 11:30 and I had to be in Anaheim at 12! OMG I was going to be late. There was no way I was going to drive like this so the MAN drove us to the party. Not realizing I was going to be the navigator I brushed my hair....and fixed my fine mess. Suddenly traffic Arg! So we're inching closer to our exit and it's closed for construction! great take the detour when the phone rings and he's gets upset....Grandma had a heart attack and is in the hospital in Mexico. Great what to do I'm not paying attention. Were doing circles around Knott's berry farm. After a few dramatic moments we get to our location 1 1/2 hour late. I get emotional and let out a few tears.
(FYI she doing fine and is stable condition)
So figuring we can't do anything at that moment to help grandma we decide to stay for the B-day party and try to make the best of it for our daughter. So She's running around the theme park with the kids and B-day boy. My headache is finally going away and my emotions are in control when she spots the animals. She wants to go in and pet the piggy....There's NO way I'm going in a pen with goats, chickens, and pigs! So I sent her dad in with her. She's having a great time petting and feeding the animals. I got closer to the fence to take a picture of her.....When Something slams into the back of my head ( It felt like someone hit me with a football) Knocking my head into the fence! Stunned that someone would hit me with anything I realize something is still on my head! It's darn heavy and flapping! I realized it was a freagin bird and FLIP OUT ! I ran around in circles screaming GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!! flailing my hands in the air! AHHH!!! Im stomping near tears PLEASE get it OFF!! I'm breathing heavy I feel faint coming when the park attendant comes and PULLS the bird off my head.
The dumb ass had the nerve to say
"I guess I should have said heads up"
Uhh yeah! I look around and see that all the kids around me are scared shitless crying....
Then another mom comes up to me and says
"See honey she's OK the rooster only wanted to see the flower in her hair!"
I was thought to myself
"Ohh No it didn't it wanted to PECK my eyes OUT! that's what it wanted to do"
I held back my tears and said yeah...that what the rooster wanted.
I stood there stunned and scared checking myself hysterically and I'm wondering ay I feel a little light headed... I need to sit down I reach for my forehead and realize OMG Im getting a bump and on the back of my head I feel something warm...what is that feeling? Ohh its BLOOD! I didn't need stitches but I needed some ointment...Great!
My dear husband says Uhm you might need to go to a hospital? I Look at him and say
"What I'm I going to tell the ER DR? I got hit on the head By A HUGE COCK?"
he laughs and say well your humor is still working so you might not have a bad concussion.
Keeping whatever dignity I had left I got up and walked around....and laughed it off.
I even yelled at the monster cock aka Rooster!
I'm Going to KFC right NOW and EATING YOUR BRETHREN!
Secretly I was Devastated and forever scared.....If you see this monster cock RUN!
It's 10:30 in the morning and I'm laying in bed with a massive headache. I'm thinking to myself maybe I had to much to drink the night before? Either way I had to get up go to a b-day party I had promised to go to. So we rushed to get ready. Shower, Makeup, Bra...and ran out the door with my family in tow. It's 11:30 and I had to be in Anaheim at 12! OMG I was going to be late. There was no way I was going to drive like this so the MAN drove us to the party. Not realizing I was going to be the navigator I brushed my hair....and fixed my fine mess. Suddenly traffic Arg! So we're inching closer to our exit and it's closed for construction! great take the detour when the phone rings and he's gets upset....Grandma had a heart attack and is in the hospital in Mexico. Great what to do I'm not paying attention. Were doing circles around Knott's berry farm. After a few dramatic moments we get to our location 1 1/2 hour late. I get emotional and let out a few tears.
(FYI she doing fine and is stable condition)
So figuring we can't do anything at that moment to help grandma we decide to stay for the B-day party and try to make the best of it for our daughter. So She's running around the theme park with the kids and B-day boy. My headache is finally going away and my emotions are in control when she spots the animals. She wants to go in and pet the piggy....There's NO way I'm going in a pen with goats, chickens, and pigs! So I sent her dad in with her. She's having a great time petting and feeding the animals. I got closer to the fence to take a picture of her.....When Something slams into the back of my head ( It felt like someone hit me with a football) Knocking my head into the fence! Stunned that someone would hit me with anything I realize something is still on my head! It's darn heavy and flapping! I realized it was a freagin bird and FLIP OUT ! I ran around in circles screaming GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!! flailing my hands in the air! AHHH!!! Im stomping near tears PLEASE get it OFF!! I'm breathing heavy I feel faint coming when the park attendant comes and PULLS the bird off my head.
The dumb ass had the nerve to say
"I guess I should have said heads up"
Uhh yeah! I look around and see that all the kids around me are scared shitless crying....
Then another mom comes up to me and says
"See honey she's OK the rooster only wanted to see the flower in her hair!"
I was thought to myself
"Ohh No it didn't it wanted to PECK my eyes OUT! that's what it wanted to do"
I held back my tears and said yeah...that what the rooster wanted.
I stood there stunned and scared checking myself hysterically and I'm wondering ay I feel a little light headed... I need to sit down I reach for my forehead and realize OMG Im getting a bump and on the back of my head I feel something warm...what is that feeling? Ohh its BLOOD! I didn't need stitches but I needed some ointment...Great!
My dear husband says Uhm you might need to go to a hospital? I Look at him and say
"What I'm I going to tell the ER DR? I got hit on the head By A HUGE COCK?"
he laughs and say well your humor is still working so you might not have a bad concussion.
Keeping whatever dignity I had left I got up and walked around....and laughed it off.
I even yelled at the monster cock aka Rooster!
I'm Going to KFC right NOW and EATING YOUR BRETHREN!
Secretly I was Devastated and forever scared.....If you see this monster cock RUN!
Views: 66
Add a comment!
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Comment by Lil_Bit {★} on June 1, 2009 at 9:54am
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UPDATE!
I went to visit the in laws on Saturday and i let the dog out to pee when it started barking like crazy. I followed him outside when there it was in the corner. A rooster. I froze and stood there for a few minutes. I was uncertain what to do save the dog or run.(I think It could sense the fear) and the rooster started coming towards me. I SHRIEKED like never before and RAN into the house. SLAMMED the glass door and the rooster came up to the door pecking ......My hubby and Daughter laughed....hysterically
apparently the neighbor bought a new pet.....I call it dinner!
*stupid cock*
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Comment by Kerensa Hayes on March 25, 2009 at 4:07pm
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Oh, that's amusing, yet awful. What a scare! Yikes!
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Comment by MIMI VONLACE on January 23, 2009 at 7:43am
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THIS STORY HAD ME ROLLING! LMAO , GLAD U AND UR GRANDMA ARE OK.
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Comment by Michelle LeRoux on January 13, 2009 at 5:37pm
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I would have flipped~wouldn't have been able to keep it together so well. This is so funny! I'm glad your grandma is ok.
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Comment by Goldie Von Fahnz on January 13, 2009 at 5:23pm
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LOL! That was so funny! It sounds like something that would happen to me.
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Comment by Doctor D on January 13, 2009 at 5:19pm
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Poor babe! Sorry about your bad experience. Glad to hear that your Grandmother is doin' well.
xo
D
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Comment by Andrea. aka. Petticoats~A~Plenty on January 13, 2009 at 4:56pm
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LOL reminded me of when my son got jumped, assaulted and robbed by the monkey on The Rock of Gibraltar for a Lolly Ice!!
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Model Comment by Wink Holliday on January 13, 2009 at 3:35pm -
Thank goodness you lived to tell the tale! It sounds traumatizing. I definitely would have been in tears!
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Comment by Betty Sue on January 13, 2009 at 2:34pm
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Oh, come on now...you LOVE the cock! xoxo
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Comment by Dottie Darling on January 13, 2009 at 12:46pm
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Ahahahaha. Not what I expected, lol.
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