Warning! Not For The Faint Of Heart...

[Little Miss Risk]

I'm pretty sure only I can make friends in a foreign country this - by throwing up in a community swimming pool.

It's a terrible affliction I seem to have, or talent depending on how you look at it. I'm certain Jim Rose could probably make an act out of it but I can barf at the drop of a hat. Not always voluntarily. If my mother had been visited by some malicious sprite at my birth who gave me contradictory gifts: to have the bravado to eat and swallow nearly anything but also vomit at the slightest provocation.

Warning: I'm going to talk about barf a lot... Because I can and my ego is better than yours.

I had invited some interest in my situation from the other people after my arrival, coming only after the sun was totally down (the pool was outdoors) and I was wearing what has come to be referred to as the SPF 50 burqa. A hooded shirt that hangs low, elbow length gloves, long tights, giant Olsen twin style sunglasses, and hot pink lipstick.

This, on its own was probably weird enough to draw people's stares from poolside, had my little gift not kicked in. After swimming a few lengths (I totally look like a dog when I swim. Also the gift of looking like a dork in water) I deposited the contents of my stomach on the patio at the deep end. The response from the folks was touchingly immediate. They all stood at once and rushed forward, one kindly soul even bringing me a Fosters to drink, believing it would help. The kind and open matter that they patted my back, introduced themselves and cleaned away my mess was wonderful. I had misgivings about the Aussies being a little blunt and brash but here were the milk of human kindness helping me after I pulled my little trick.

Mind you, it must be said, after an actual swim, and a few cocktails with my new peeps, my faith in humanity was restored. And I daresay a few of them even reproduced my little parlour trick.

Cheers!

Little Miss Risk

PS: Oh yeah, it was BJB's birthday on Dec.11th. Same day that Betty Page died, though I don't hold him personally responsible. Anyone with any blackmail photos can email them to me for future reference.