People that think they can hurt me

[Nikki]

There are so many of these people. And I fear getting hurt by one. But after a while I realize how much the pain just disappears and they can't take anything away from me. My boyfriend of six months really changed me. He pinned me down in a way. I wasn't myself when I was with him. And even my best friend Mel noticed that. I stopped doing anything that I used to. It was a real shame. And then he broke up with me, and I realized that this wasn't so terrible. He was my life for six months an I had to force tears. I suppose I just wanted to be proper and be upset after a break up. I just told myself that I was still in shock an that the pain would hit me soon. After a week of no pain I got tired of waiting for the pain an shook my head. I had something special I guess. I must not have loved him as much as I thought right? I really don't know... I look at him n his new girl friend and just don't understand.
My brother was mad but not hateful, I was sad but not distraught. I really don't know what happened.

I guess it's also weird that this group of people in my school try to mess with my life a lot. But I never really do anything. I don't even get that mad. I just sit there and say, "I guess I'll get them back sometime soon." But that never, ever happens. I guess I'm just lazy?

Well, life is full of surprises I guess.