As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Don't cut up the living dead. The parts will still come after you.
those are my fave.. and then there is this one...
"Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine or Massachusetts. "
"If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or f all down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, although you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. "