Vintage WTF-ery

[Poppy Fields]

Flickr.
What a wonderful place, full of treasures and inspiration and food-porn.
Also, fail.
So much loltastic FAIL.

Last night I squealed and flapped and crinkled my toes with delight when I found a collection of 103 vintage pinup embroidery transfers, in the style of Sailor Jerry. While I'm not a huge fan of the style (I know, HERESY.) I do like them as a period-accurate reference. Some are really lovely, like the peacock and moon scene over there. But some of them...
Ohhhh, some of them.
What. the. F***?

Let's just cut to the evidence:

Wow.
Klassy.
Really... smashes you in the face with the concept, lest the subtlety of the more traditional "Man's Ruin" is above your head. There's no mistaking the message here: "B****** ain't s*** but hoes and tricks"!
In my mind, I keep picturing a bunch of 40s frat boys shouting "PUSS-AAAY!" and showing each other the Shocker. It makes me smile.
And when I embroider this - and you bet your sweet ass I will - I am TOTALLY adding a "rosebud" ;D

Pear Harbour: known for it's... gorillas? [click for larger]
What??
What the hell is going on here? Can somebody please explain?
To the best of my, albeit aged, recollection, Japan wasn't usually associated with gorillas during WWII. Or any other time in history, really.
Did my excellent education neglect to mention the use of large apes as weapons during the war? Am I missing a misguided play on "guerilla"? I know I slept through "King Kong", but I'm pretty sure there's no connection to Pearl Harbour...
I'm just so confused by this. Somebody help, please.
Moving on.

Saved the best for last.
Oh yes I did.
Wait for it...
Waaaaait for it...

PA-POW!!!
What the ever-loving fuuuuuuuck?
Seriously. Seriously?
"Hur hur, made in Hawaii LOL"
B**** looks like she's on the verge of committing honourable suicide! Totally defeated and beaten and... ::ick:: violated.
It would be different if she was smiling or had an "Oopsie!" face, but her head is hung, arms are slack and look at the size of that belly! She's thinking "Oh well, too late to do anything about it. Guess I'll just bear my shame in silence. I don't deserve any better."
Who embroiders this s*** on a tea-towel? Even as a joke?
I am righteously indignant. And perplexed and befuddled and yes, a mite horrified.

Ugh.

But I can't end this on that kind of note, can I?
What to do... what to do... oh, I know! When in doubt, a little two-girls-one-mammal (and a really bad, baaad pun) makes everything better!

Ladies and Gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure, I give you: Whale seX0r!!

[Syd Valentine]

AHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Holy S***. That is some good stuff.

SF, is that YOUR arm???? hahaha I hope it is.

Anyway, Poppy..... MAYBE... just MAYBE.... Gorilla=King Kong=Savage Beast from tropical island (JAPANESE)= Bad, BAD monkey=Japan....taking unfair advantage over SWEET innocent woman= our lady liberty= the USA????

I dunno. That's my half-assed interpretation of the symbolism. WTF is right!!!

AND....

No, NO... you got it all wrong! She's thinking... "Johnny's nevah' gonna' see his baby 'cause he's over seas fightin' in a war." It's more of a 'missing her man' kind of sadness not the 'DAMN. He didn't pull out in time' kind. Or maybe she's not pregnant at all. Maybe she's just fat from eating roast pig and drinking coconut rum all day long.

Love the 2x vaginas and large sperm whale, btw. FABULOUS!!!!!

Oh, and every man I have ever known has been ruined by money, booze and a crazy female....my husband for example......

[Poppy Fields]

Nice.
That's precisely what I had in mind.
I'd return the favour, but what i have in mind would get me banned! ;D

[Poppy Fields]

I know ::shudder:: I needed a unicorn chaser after all that!

[Dottie Darling]

Odd, and not in a good way.