Networking and Plugging,,,,,

[Serendipity Sol]

So I guess to me when you go in with one set of expectations and a whole other outcome I guess you could say comes out of it you wonder? Do I belong here, Granted I am not "America's next top model" Nor do I pretend to be or think I am. But at this point yes I know there are a lot of pretty faces. I am honestly feeling on the ignored sense of the spectrum on this site.

I post in forums. Try to be active and honestly comment on others photos as well as accept all friend requests (Which seem to happen to be primarily promoting businesses?) and try to send friend requests in a sincere matter. Now as wrong as this sounds it seems that this site is for Pin ups in or around The california bay area. Although there are some other people thrown in the mix that I guess are "wealthy" enough to travel. Not that I could do that now not even if I could afford it. Even to a city that is 2 hours away.

Which sadly I lived in that area prior to about a year ago when I was ripped from there and almost forced to migrate to my new in the middle of nowhere missouri also known as misery,

If anyone knows anything about out here you have to live in the "city" of at least 35k or more to have what I would consider a normal life. AS of right now I live 50 miles or more away from what I would consider city life. And honestly maybe it has taken a toll on me. My dad retired and I now live along a lake in a house that is very subpar definitely would not pass any sort of building inspection.

So yet again you ask what does this have to do with networking and plugging? I feel as if the only way to get any sort of recognition on a place like this I have to go above and beyond cause the looks department I am not "unique" enough for some to want to "pick me" not to mention the pin up area is not wide spread in this area I am a total outcast.

I have tried to make friends out here it just doesn't happen people say they will meet up and NEVER do. So one might say I am socially frustrated living in this area. I don't fit in cause I don't dress like I just got off a farm. Although my car fits in well out here. You might say this is my way of dealing/complaining and maybe even venting with my current situation cause I feel as if I have nowhere else to turn to and nowhere else to go.
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I also got injured at wal mart when I was an automotive technician and have been dealing with the after affects of what I have been told is nerve damage in behind my shoulder area and in my lower back it hurts me to lift my own 10 lb daughter how sad is that. I just wish I could hold her more without having that constant aching pain and yet I also have to deal with the pain while trying to do things that are best for her as well. Like not taking medication so that she can have breast milk.


Writing stuff down to me is like therapy. And yes I have many blogs but no one wants a debbie downer blogger written all the time.

On the positive side. My daughter was born about a month ago now beautiful little girl that weighs 10 lbs and 1 oz and is 21 and 3/4 inches long. My daughter is now the one true thing that helps me remember what a purpose in life honestly truly and completely feels like. She is what motivates me to be the person I was trying to be prior to her birth or I guess you could say she reminded me of who I am or really was.

Well we will see what kind of field this comes across too. In the end I DO NOT want people to feel sorry for me or I don't honestly want sympathy friends or comments or fake gestures of concern or anything of this nature. I am not going to commit suiciide. One might consider me "clinically depressed" or manic depressive", I don't need a psychiatrist or psychologist. It is one thing to be me and know what kind of person I am but to deal with fake people is far worse to me then any pain or anything I will ever have to "deal" with in life. If I have offended anyone I apologize in advance.