Daddy Like!!

[Gary Rabuzzi]

Quantum Of Solace - for those of you who still doubt whether or not Daniel Craig makes a good James Bond, you have only to watch the foot race at the beginning of "Casino Royale". It's the greatest one in cinematic history. And there's a similar action sequence in the new flick, that's nearly as good. Craig's Bond is like Jason Bourne, if Bourne looked like a real adult man, instead of a frat boy. He's also the first James Bond that exists as more than a two dimensional, catchphrase spouting Superman. He plays Bond as the strong silent type, letting his fists and guns, and brains do most of the talking. He's not afraid to get those amazing tailored suits dirty (it's enough to make me cry...). It's like having Steve McQueen in the Aston Martin. Take everything that's good about Bond (the high-octane action sequences, the beautiful women, the dry wit, and the callous, ruthless charm), and leave out all of the bad (the godawful puns, the ridiculously handy gadgets, the cartoonish rogue's gallery), and you have a smart, brutal action franchise. Let's hope Craig stays in the tux for a long time to come...

The Best of Chris Isaak DVD - I'm a bigger fan of Isaak's now, than I was few years ago. It's hard to muster up any kind of enthusiasm for your girlfriend's amnesty f***. But this DVD, featuring all 18 of Isaak's videos, makes me remember why I like him in the first place. He's just the right combination of rockabilly cat, sensitive songwriter, and perfect hair. And all of his videos are exactly the same thing- He rolls around with a different super model in practically every one. Come to think of it, he acts, sings, writes his own songs, has a perfect pomp, and a disco ball suit, and his job is rubbing against hot girls on camera, which only somehow makes him irresistable to OTHER hot women. Now, I'm starting to remember why I hate him, too! Anyway, if you grab this DVD (totally worth it - it's almost as good as Skinemax!), be sure to watch it with his commentary track. Not only is the guy stupidly talented and good-looking, he's pretty funny, too. A******...

Sikiyaki Western Django - I reviewed the trailer to this flick just a couple of weeks ago in this column, and said something to the effect that it has to be just about the best movie ever. Then, I saw it the other night at Zia, while I was Christmas shopping, and snagged it up. Directed by Japanese sicko (director of the truly unsettling "The Audition"), Takashi Miike, and featuring one of his biggest fans, Quentin Tarantino, this flick may not be quite "Kung-Fu Hustle" good, but it's pretty goddamn close! It's a Japanese Spaghetti Western version of Akira Kurosawa's "Yojimbo" (which has also been re-made into such films as "Last Man Standing", and "For A Few Dollars More"), where all of the characters use Samurai swords, and six guns, and wear armor, and all of this post- Apocalyptic garb, and speak broken English, whilst dealing death in hyper-violent, ballets of bullets that would make John Woo think about smiling. And Quentin actually speaks his lines in the same broken english for some reason. Probably because he's just a bad actor. Anyway, it's a funny, sexy, violent, beautiful mess, and the DVD has a featurette about the making of the film, that I found very interesting...

All-Tune And Lube - Honest Mechanic alert! I needed my brakes done BADLY. I had the grinding, the squealing, the whole embarrassing, dangerous thing. I stopped into a Brake Team on Spring Mountain, just west of Decatur, only to find that they no longer occupied the space. Luckily, this garage was in the same plaza. Paul and his mechanics inspected my car for free, let me come out and watch the whole process, showed me what was wrong, told me how they could fix it as easily and cost-efficiently as possible, and got to work. Paul answered a lot of questions that I had, took a look at a few unrelated things I was concerned about, and told me that my car was fine. The repairs I thought I needed on other parts of my car were UNNECESSARY. When's the last time a mechanic told you that? He even fixed a problem with my gas cap for FREE. The whole thing came to about forty bucks under what I was expecting to pay. The staff was friendly and knowledgable, they weren't trying to upsell me, or hide what they were doing from me, and it was actually one of the best experiences I've ever had with a mechanic. A rare thing, indeed...

Role Models - I checked out this Paul Rudd comedy on a rare off night a few weeks ago, when I actually had the energy to sit through a movie. Pretty funny stuff. The two main characters (the other was played by Seann "Stiffler" William Scott) actually reminded me a lot of me and Jage, my roommate. Rudd's character, Danny, played a guy who hated everything, and who was annoyed by the slightest thing (just like me!). Scott's character, Wheeler, was obsessed with boobs and the band Kiss (just like Jage!). Through a series of highjinks, they end up with the choice of jail time, or entering a "Big Brother" style mentoring program, Sturdy Wings. Danny's "Little One" is played by Christopher "McLovin" Mintz-Plasse, and is a turbo dork who's obsessed with a live action medieval role playing game (check out Ken Jeong's hilarious turn as the arrogant "king" of the gamers). Scott's charge is a young foul-mouthed black kid. The guys repeatedly butt heads with their "littles", until, eventually (and predictably) everyone learns a valuable lesson of some sort. I usually hate it when everyone learns a lesson (so would Danny), but there's so much funny s*** along the way, I don't even mind. This movie is dumb, and crude, and completely watchable. Especially if you're a Kiss fan...

The Bridge - On the other end of the spectrum of my movie tastes, is this little documentary that Jage brought home from Blockbuster, about the Golden Gate Bridge. Specifically, all the people who commit suicide by jumping from it in a year. They set up cameras on the bridge, and just leave them running. They catch a whole lot of people ending their lives on film. But it doesn't feel exploitative, even though they also speak to the friends and family who survive with the grief of losing a loved one in such a horrific manner. It feels like, as Jage put it, "Intervention" but with death ("Intervention" being one of my favorite shows- A&E, Monday nights!). Watching these unhappy people deciding at that very moment, that the long, long drop to the churning ocean below is preferrable to another minute on this planet, is a strange thing. I'm not sure how it makes me feel. But I can say that if you're looking for some kind of "Faces Of Death" shock fix, you won't get it here. There's no gore. No blood, or gooey pulp. Just a moment of some poor soul, just... letting go.

Las Vegas Comedy Festival - I finally got out of the house last weekend, when Griff came up with two free tickets to one of the late night shows at the Comedy Festival at Caesar's Palace. It's this big, annual event, where we get a few headliners (this year, it was Seinfeld, Dane Cook, Ellen, and a few others), and lots of smaller, more intimate shows. I actually wanted to see a buddy of mine from way back in the MGM days, Ken Rogerson, do a set in one of the ballrooms, but the ri-goddamn-diculous traffic prevented that. But Griff and I had no sooner walked in the doors of the casino, when we saw Andrew "Dice" Clay, being hustled to the back of the house by his entourage (he has a SWEET bald spot now!). Inside the casino, we saw Michael Colyar, Cheryl Underwood (from Sirius XM radio...), Pete Rose (and his physically PERFECT female companion. I mean, STUNNING. I have never seen a better looking woman in my life)- Pete was, I swear to God, in the Sports book, making a bet; Lavelle Crawford and Tammy Pescatelli, from "Last Comic Standing", and the highlight, Tracey Morgan, from "30 Rock"! All of them were so cool, and took pics with us (Except Dice and Colyar, who were moving fast!), it was a great night. We got drunk, and smoked Black and Mild cigars, and hollered at girls, and generally acted like the idiots we are. Just what I needed to get my mind off the many stresses of work. Then, the free tix we got were for Dave Attel's late night show! He was hilarious, and had three other comics with him. The funniest was a girl named Whitney Cummings. She siad her name was just a stage name, her actual name was Whitney C******. Then, she told us how she threatened to "cut a guy's taint" for ordering a salad at dinner. Attel did about forty five minutes, stream-of-consciousness stuff, profane, and drunken, and it was just awesome! I also found out that The Kids In The Hall are looking into taking a residence in a Vegas casino next year! Good news for fans of cross-dressing Canadians! Of which I definitely am one. Good night. Check my pics for one of me and Tracey Morgan!