Horrible men

[Anita Fixx]

How do you deal with jerks who throw out the word "b****" simply because you know your rights and are being appropiately assertive? I find it VERY distribing that men can spew words like "b****" and "slut" so easily to any female who isn't afraid to speak up. Sexism is alive and well...it's really f*****' sad considering the year is 2010..when is this going to be a dead issue? Why are there so many guys out there who treat women like s***? Or is it just Toronto? Maybe all the gentlemen are elsewhere...yeah, this is why I'm single. Anyways what do you think of this issue? How do you deal with it?

[Anita Fixx]

This is Toronto NO ONE tries to hold a conversation with me. That's how it is here..you don't have conversations with random guys..they just insult you with various swear words if you do something they think is annoying (like suggesting that they are butting in line). This is not Chile where you might actually get compliments when you go out..gawd I do miss that!
And I miss the 40s and 50s even though I was never around back then. Just from watching the movies and seeing how people could come up with better insults then "f*** you b****". Yeah..whatever happened to that?

Alice Cat said:

Chop & Go {PLA} said:

Well, as a country boy, growing up in the 50's a b**** was known as a female dog and that is it. Words like floozy, h**** and skank were used jokingly. But never, NEVER to a girl's face. I was reared to treat ladies with respect. My Dad was a gentleman that I looked up to all my life. In today's world you hear it all. B****, slut, c*** and the N-word are thrown out all over the place. I don't like it. Yea, I'm an ole fogey, but that's just me.

That's one of my favourite elements of the 50s! I adore the respect and decency men showed towards women, and vice versa. The sexes (generally) treated each other like gold.
I was talking with my aunt about this subject a couple of days ago. She told me her Dad (who would be of the next older generation to you) was a prime example of a man who respects women and dislikes foul language being used in front of them - if he was out with my aunt, her sister and his wife, and there were people nearby using foul launguage, he would go over to them and ask them to stop it for the sake of his girls ears.. Swore like a sailor when with the lads of course, but as the majority of his generation did, he treated every lady he came across like a princess. I'd love more chivalry to be around! It still exists of course, but not to the same extent as it once did.. I s'pose everything changes and devlops though.

In regards to the original post..
You seem very bitter about men! Perhaps men can sense this about you when they meet you or when they hold conversations with you and so they automatically assume you're stuck up or just plain unpleasant, when in reality you're just wary of men..

Either that or because you throw around things like "jerk" and swear a lot (like me xD) they assume that using that behaviour is okay with you because you participate in it too.. They're treating you as "one of the lads" and in this case don't really mean it, I've had it myself from my brother's friends. I know they're lovely boys and don't have a problem with me, they just think I'm okay with being involved in that sort of banter.

Out of the blue insults from people you've done nothing to offend always hurt and annoy, but male or female, just dish out an insult back! Or even better - Come out with a wonderfully witty and crushing response lacking in insults and swearing entirely. That way, you look like a lady with brains and an ability to use them instead of lowering yourself to their level by throwing out brainless insults that 3 year olds could come up with :P

[Honey B Hooligan {Madam}]

Chile's no picnic. just throwing that out there. lol

Anita Fixx said:

This is Toronto NO ONE tries to hold a conversation with me. That's how it is here..you don't have conversations with random guys..they just insult you with various swear words if you do something they think is annoying (like suggesting that they are butting in line). This is not Chile where you might actually get compliments when you go out..gawd I do miss that!
And I miss the 40s and 50s even though I was never around back then. Just from watching the movies and seeing how people could come up with better insults then "f*** you b****". Yeah..whatever happened to that?

Alice Cat said:

Chop & Go {PLA} said:

Well, as a country boy, growing up in the 50's a b**** was known as a female dog and that is it. Words like floozy, h**** and skank were used jokingly. But never, NEVER to a girl's face. I was reared to treat ladies with respect. My Dad was a gentleman that I looked up to all my life. In today's world you hear it all. B****, slut, c*** and the N-word are thrown out all over the place. I don't like it. Yea, I'm an ole fogey, but that's just me.

That's one of my favourite elements of the 50s! I adore the respect and decency men showed towards women, and vice versa. The sexes (generally) treated each other like gold.
I was talking with my aunt about this subject a couple of days ago. She told me her Dad (who would be of the next older generation to you) was a prime example of a man who respects women and dislikes foul language being used in front of them - if he was out with my aunt, her sister and his wife, and there were people nearby using foul launguage, he would go over to them and ask them to stop it for the sake of his girls ears.. Swore like a sailor when with the lads of course, but as the majority of his generation did, he treated every lady he came across like a princess. I'd love more chivalry to be around! It still exists of course, but not to the same extent as it once did.. I s'pose everything changes and devlops though.

In regards to the original post..
You seem very bitter about men! Perhaps men can sense this about you when they meet you or when they hold conversations with you and so they automatically assume you're stuck up or just plain unpleasant, when in reality you're just wary of men..

Either that or because you throw around things like "jerk" and swear a lot (like me xD) they assume that using that behaviour is okay with you because you participate in it too.. They're treating you as "one of the lads" and in this case don't really mean it, I've had it myself from my brother's friends. I know they're lovely boys and don't have a problem with me, they just think I'm okay with being involved in that sort of banter.

Out of the blue insults from people you've done nothing to offend always hurt and annoy, but male or female, just dish out an insult back! Or even better - Come out with a wonderfully witty and crushing response lacking in insults and swearing entirely. That way, you look like a lady with brains and an ability to use them instead of lowering yourself to their level by throwing out brainless insults that 3 year olds could come up with :P

[Anita Fixx]

Yeah..it is mostly against women..even when other females are attacking each other. That is NOT right and it still is sexism because in this culture we are taught to self-hate and hate other females. I hate it when guys try to turn it around and say it's not like. How would they know if they've never lived life as a female? They already hold all the power in this society so it's ridiculous that they claim there's sexism against them. This system is created for them and caters to them so the idea doesn't stick. There's no proof that they suffer AT ALL from any remarks a girl may have made at them. Unlike for girls where their reputation can be destroyed by a few, well chosen words by a male. You know I hope, what I am refering to. There is still a double standard in many ways and it only negatively affects women.

Lolita Black said:

Sexism has been around for soooo many years. And yeah we woman even get to be sexist to men, but I think majority is used against women. there's also the "woman on woman" crime where we use the words b****, slut, etc which in turn allows men to call us such. It's an endless cycle pretty much. And I'm guilty of the crime too. It's everywhere I'm afraid not just Toronto. Just keep on being an aggressive woman, they're probably afraid of your power, so don't let it bother you too much doll.

[Honey B Hooligan {Madam}]

As far as men being abusive....well....from personal experience, even the sweetest talkers can be brutal behind closed doors. With my ex, I hid many a bruise with makeup..."oh, I hit my arm on a door jam"....yadda yadda....

But I also realize that I allowed him to do that crap. Finally enough was enough, and now never again. But I won't let a few rotten bananas ruin the whole bunch.

I just toss the bad bananas in the garbage, and focus on the ripe ones. ;)

[Anita Fixx]

Have you ever been to Chile?

Honey B Hooligan {M} said:

Chile's no picnic. just throwing that out there. lol

Anita Fixx said:

This is Toronto NO ONE tries to hold a conversation with me. That's how it is here..you don't have conversations with random guys..they just insult you with various swear words if you do something they think is annoying (like suggesting that they are butting in line). This is not Chile where you might actually get compliments when you go out..gawd I do miss that!
And I miss the 40s and 50s even though I was never around back then. Just from watching the movies and seeing how people could come up with better insults then "f*** you b****". Yeah..whatever happened to that?

Alice Cat said:

Chop & Go {PLA} said:

Well, as a country boy, growing up in the 50's a b**** was known as a female dog and that is it. Words like floozy, h**** and skank were used jokingly. But never, NEVER to a girl's face. I was reared to treat ladies with respect. My Dad was a gentleman that I looked up to all my life. In today's world you hear it all. B****, slut, c*** and the N-word are thrown out all over the place. I don't like it. Yea, I'm an ole fogey, but that's just me.

That's one of my favourite elements of the 50s! I adore the respect and decency men showed towards women, and vice versa. The sexes (generally) treated each other like gold.
I was talking with my aunt about this subject a couple of days ago. She told me her Dad (who would be of the next older generation to you) was a prime example of a man who respects women and dislikes foul language being used in front of them - if he was out with my aunt, her sister and his wife, and there were people nearby using foul launguage, he would go over to them and ask them to stop it for the sake of his girls ears.. Swore like a sailor when with the lads of course, but as the majority of his generation did, he treated every lady he came across like a princess. I'd love more chivalry to be around! It still exists of course, but not to the same extent as it once did.. I s'pose everything changes and devlops though.

In regards to the original post..
You seem very bitter about men! Perhaps men can sense this about you when they meet you or when they hold conversations with you and so they automatically assume you're stuck up or just plain unpleasant, when in reality you're just wary of men..

Either that or because you throw around things like "jerk" and swear a lot (like me xD) they assume that using that behaviour is okay with you because you participate in it too.. They're treating you as "one of the lads" and in this case don't really mean it, I've had it myself from my brother's friends. I know they're lovely boys and don't have a problem with me, they just think I'm okay with being involved in that sort of banter.

Out of the blue insults from people you've done nothing to offend always hurt and annoy, but male or female, just dish out an insult back! Or even better - Come out with a wonderfully witty and crushing response lacking in insults and swearing entirely. That way, you look like a lady with brains and an ability to use them instead of lowering yourself to their level by throwing out brainless insults that 3 year olds could come up with :P

[Honey B Hooligan {Madam}]

yep. I sure have. One of the perks of being in the Navy is "free" travel.

Anita Fixx said:

Have you ever been to Chile?

Honey B Hooligan {M} said:

Chile's no picnic. just throwing that out there. lol

Anita Fixx said:

This is Toronto NO ONE tries to hold a conversation with me. That's how it is here..you don't have conversations with random guys..they just insult you with various swear words if you do something they think is annoying (like suggesting that they are butting in line). This is not Chile where you might actually get compliments when you go out..gawd I do miss that!
And I miss the 40s and 50s even though I was never around back then. Just from watching the movies and seeing how people could come up with better insults then "f*** you b****". Yeah..whatever happened to that?

Alice Cat said:

Chop & Go {PLA} said:

Well, as a country boy, growing up in the 50's a b**** was known as a female dog and that is it. Words like floozy, h**** and skank were used jokingly. But never, NEVER to a girl's face. I was reared to treat ladies with respect. My Dad was a gentleman that I looked up to all my life. In today's world you hear it all. B****, slut, c*** and the N-word are thrown out all over the place. I don't like it. Yea, I'm an ole fogey, but that's just me.

That's one of my favourite elements of the 50s! I adore the respect and decency men showed towards women, and vice versa. The sexes (generally) treated each other like gold.
I was talking with my aunt about this subject a couple of days ago. She told me her Dad (who would be of the next older generation to you) was a prime example of a man who respects women and dislikes foul language being used in front of them - if he was out with my aunt, her sister and his wife, and there were people nearby using foul launguage, he would go over to them and ask them to stop it for the sake of his girls ears.. Swore like a sailor when with the lads of course, but as the majority of his generation did, he treated every lady he came across like a princess. I'd love more chivalry to be around! It still exists of course, but not to the same extent as it once did.. I s'pose everything changes and devlops though.

In regards to the original post..
You seem very bitter about men! Perhaps men can sense this about you when they meet you or when they hold conversations with you and so they automatically assume you're stuck up or just plain unpleasant, when in reality you're just wary of men..

Either that or because you throw around things like "jerk" and swear a lot (like me xD) they assume that using that behaviour is okay with you because you participate in it too.. They're treating you as "one of the lads" and in this case don't really mean it, I've had it myself from my brother's friends. I know they're lovely boys and don't have a problem with me, they just think I'm okay with being involved in that sort of banter.

Out of the blue insults from people you've done nothing to offend always hurt and annoy, but male or female, just dish out an insult back! Or even better - Come out with a wonderfully witty and crushing response lacking in insults and swearing entirely. That way, you look like a lady with brains and an ability to use them instead of lowering yourself to their level by throwing out brainless insults that 3 year olds could come up with :P

[Edson Carlos]

Really? REAAAAALLY?

I'm not going to respond until I can do so without saying you just proved my point about throwing stuff around.

Anita Fixx said:

Yeah..it is mostly against women..even when other females are attacking each other. That is NOT right and it still is sexism because in this culture we are taught to self-hate and hate other females. I hate it when guys try to turn it around and say it's not like. How would they know if they've never lived life as a female? They already hold all the power in this society so it's ridiculous that they claim there's sexism against them. This system is created for them and caters to them so the idea doesn't stick. There's no proof that they suffer AT ALL from any remarks a girl may have made at them. Unlike for girls where their reputation can be destroyed by a few, well chosen words by a male.

Lolita Black said:

Sexism has been around for soooo many years. And yeah we woman even get to be sexist to men, but I think majority is used against women. there's also the "woman on woman" crime where we use the words b****, slut, etc which in turn allows men to call us such. It's an endless cycle pretty much. And I'm guilty of the crime too. It's everywhere I'm afraid not just Toronto. Just keep on being an aggressive woman, they're probably afraid of your power, so don't let it bother you too much doll.

[Honey B Hooligan {Madam}]

yeaaaaaah, Ditto.

Edson C. {PL} said:

Really? REAAAAALLY?

I'm not going to respond until I can do so without saying you just proved my point about throwing stuff around.

Anita Fixx said:

Yeah..it is mostly against women..even when other females are attacking each other. That is NOT right and it still is sexism because in this culture we are taught to self-hate and hate other females. I hate it when guys try to turn it around and say it's not like. How would they know if they've never lived life as a female? They already hold all the power in this society so it's ridiculous that they claim there's sexism against them. This system is created for them and caters to them so the idea doesn't stick. There's no proof that they suffer AT ALL from any remarks a girl may have made at them. Unlike for girls where their reputation can be destroyed by a few, well chosen words by a male.

Lolita Black said:

Sexism has been around for soooo many years. And yeah we woman even get to be sexist to men, but I think majority is used against women. there's also the "woman on woman" crime where we use the words b****, slut, etc which in turn allows men to call us such. It's an endless cycle pretty much. And I'm guilty of the crime too. It's everywhere I'm afraid not just Toronto. Just keep on being an aggressive woman, they're probably afraid of your power, so don't let it bother you too much doll.

[Anita Fixx]

I wish this was still the case... : ( And for a few years as a kid I lived in the countryside in Chile. I loved it and I miss it so much..I really am a small town girl even though I've lived in a big city almost all my life. I still can't get used to it..especially all the rudeness and violence. I'm NEVER going to like it.

Chop & Go {PLA} said:

Well, as a country boy, growing up in the 50's a b**** was known as a female dog and that is it. Words like floozy, h**** and skank were used jokingly. But never, NEVER to a girl's face. I was reared to treat ladies with respect. My Dad was a gentleman that I looked up to all my life. In today's world you hear it all. B****, slut, c*** and the N-word are thrown out all over the place. I don't like it. Yea, I'm an ole fogey, but that's just me.

[Edson Carlos]

[Anita Fixx]

Honestly, I don't know what you're talking about and I won't bother. You obviously have made up your mind and won't accept any of my arguments so there's no point. You could be more open minded but I'm not going to change that.

Edson C. {PL} said:

Really? REAAAAALLY?

I'm not going to respond until I can do so without saying you just proved my point about throwing stuff around.

Anita Fixx said:

Yeah..it is mostly against women..even when other females are attacking each other. That is NOT right and it still is sexism because in this culture we are taught to self-hate and hate other females. I hate it when guys try to turn it around and say it's not like. How would they know if they've never lived life as a female? They already hold all the power in this society so it's ridiculous that they claim there's sexism against them. This system is created for them and caters to them so the idea doesn't stick. There's no proof that they suffer AT ALL from any remarks a girl may have made at them. Unlike for girls where their reputation can be destroyed by a few, well chosen words by a male.

Lolita Black said:

Sexism has been around for soooo many years. And yeah we woman even get to be sexist to men, but I think majority is used against women. there's also the "woman on woman" crime where we use the words b****, slut, etc which in turn allows men to call us such. It's an endless cycle pretty much. And I'm guilty of the crime too. It's everywhere I'm afraid not just Toronto. Just keep on being an aggressive woman, they're probably afraid of your power, so don't let it bother you too much doll.

[Anita Fixx]

Violence and abuse is NEVER ok. And I can;t believe anyone would justify it. I'm glad you got out of that relationship ok. I went through too many..and that's why I have these traumas. And hearing people say it's ok to punch me is not going to help.
Maybe there are some decent guys out there but all I've seen so far is judgement and abuse.

Honey B Hooligan {M} said:

As far as men being abusive....well....from personal experience, even the sweetest talkers can be brutal behind closed doors. With my ex, I hid many a bruise with makeup..."oh, I hit my arm on a door jam"....yadda yadda....

But I also realize that I allowed him to do that crap. Finally enough was enough, and now never again. But I won't let a few rotten bananas ruin the whole bunch.

I just toss the bad bananas in the garbage, and focus on the ripe ones. ;)